I dont know what actually happen today to me and everyone person in my family...
I receive a SMS from one of my co-worker from the company i worked, he said he wont be able to contact me anymore since someone wants them 'out' from the crisis that our company needs to handle. He say that my only malaysian friend there was no more. Then i tried to contact him back but i cant. Then just now i go to my old workplace, try to contact my friend again. But i cant again. But instead of going to find out, i called one of the other company friend. He told me that the company i work already...like...out of commision. You guys know what i mean. Guess i'm out of work. Well...
As usual, Alex keep falling down from her wheelchair, sometime i laugh, sometime i worried and sometime i ignore it. Well i'm not that good brother anymore remember? O__o
Lily pissing me off these days but today she finally apologize in the right way. I dont want to say why i'm angry and mad at her. Thats me and lily's problem.
Uncle Lucas today had some blood preasure problem. Went to the hospital to check and he's fine now. I didnt expect something like that from a retired Navy admiral and a former Navy SEAL.
Thats all though. Now i kinda worried about the company i 'used' to work with. Issit true their...out of comission?Well...the heck with it, i'll find out about it sooner or later.
6.50PM : Thursday, 11 June 2009
Patrick Jason "Cipher" Tan Wei Shen / Nik Khairul Izhar
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
As cold as winter's darkest night
Beneath the veil of starry sky,
As cold as winter's darkest night.
It's there you sleep, silent and deep,
You're all alone.
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
Across the lonely silent fields
A little light began to shine,
It shines on and on
I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed,
You laughed like a child,
Happy and carefree
It's all familiar and yet so far,
That's the future's promise for you and me.
One day on a green and shiny morn',
One day we will finally make it through
Cause in this sky
So dark with winter,
We still have to believe it's true
Fields of hope.
A gentle touch
A loving brush
Those things I still search for
A prayer in
A melody
It goes on and on
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
One vanishes, one dies
And all in all
It starts again
A never ending cycle
One day on a green and shining morn'
Through all the long nights we've been fighting for
There lies a place
Far from disgrace
Where we won't have to hide from the world again
Now there lies a deep love within my heart
A yearn to protect you and keep you warm
It's all familiar and yet so far,
It's made for the peace of mind
Fields of hope
Natsukashiku mada tooi
Yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope
-Fields of Hope (English Version)-
Ergh, that song really stuck on my head.Dont know why, maybe since my late ex sang it once at school for me.I play the piano for her, and she sang the song.Ahh, the heck with it, the more i think about it, the harder for me to forget the past, well its not i dont like it, it just somewhat make me sad and all.That bad for me, you know.And you dont want to see this guy sad, as in ME!lol.
Anyway, busy day today, since alex just got to hospital and all, i had to use my paycheck to pay her medical bills, since i'm the one who make her go to hospital, tecnically i'm to blame, lol.And i need to go WIMAX HQ since at my house cant get any coverage, so i need to go redeem it!Haha!Too bad. XD
Anyway, sayonara to everyone and take care and keep your happy side show!And I MEAN IT!lol.
PJ Tan Wei Shen
As cold as winter's darkest night.
It's there you sleep, silent and deep,
You're all alone.
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
Across the lonely silent fields
A little light began to shine,
It shines on and on
I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed,
You laughed like a child,
Happy and carefree
It's all familiar and yet so far,
That's the future's promise for you and me.
One day on a green and shiny morn',
One day we will finally make it through
Cause in this sky
So dark with winter,
We still have to believe it's true
Fields of hope.
A gentle touch
A loving brush
Those things I still search for
A prayer in
A melody
It goes on and on
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
One vanishes, one dies
And all in all
It starts again
A never ending cycle
One day on a green and shining morn'
Through all the long nights we've been fighting for
There lies a place
Far from disgrace
Where we won't have to hide from the world again
Now there lies a deep love within my heart
A yearn to protect you and keep you warm
It's all familiar and yet so far,
It's made for the peace of mind
Fields of hope
Natsukashiku mada tooi
Yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope
-Fields of Hope (English Version)-
Ergh, that song really stuck on my head.Dont know why, maybe since my late ex sang it once at school for me.I play the piano for her, and she sang the song.Ahh, the heck with it, the more i think about it, the harder for me to forget the past, well its not i dont like it, it just somewhat make me sad and all.That bad for me, you know.And you dont want to see this guy sad, as in ME!lol.
Anyway, busy day today, since alex just got to hospital and all, i had to use my paycheck to pay her medical bills, since i'm the one who make her go to hospital, tecnically i'm to blame, lol.And i need to go WIMAX HQ since at my house cant get any coverage, so i need to go redeem it!Haha!Too bad. XD
Anyway, sayonara to everyone and take care and keep your happy side show!And I MEAN IT!lol.
PJ Tan Wei Shen
Friday, April 24, 2009
What am i?Being so random is bad.
Ahh, you guys think i'm gonna go forever, maybe what i say before is wrong, since i weak to something that makes me to break my old promise, and that is my half-sister.Oh well thats not the point i'm writing back my blog.But hey, at least i'm still alive right?Anyway...
I'm sorry to make some of you (especially Alex and my family) guys worry because my suddenly change of mind and go somewhere unexpected. Like i told you guys before, i'm doing this because for everyone but now, i guess i cant really do it. Well enough babling about it.
Since i left, i promise myself to forget about everything that connect to my past but actually i'm still the same like before, what Alex say. Well at least she matured and independent after i left her, and you know, she really alot remind me of her late brother...my half brother. I thought i can hide my true feeling to her but now she knows. Okay now i'm lost, why?Because i'm blank, dont know what to say.
During my work period, my new friend, and my actual co-pilot always somewhat care about me. I dont know if he actually a gay or he really care about me. LOL! Haha, and look i'm actually laugh! Yeah, he actually prevent me to change to like...a glommy and emo kind of guy. Yeah, thats true.Honest!
You know, i've read her (you know who) blog, i guess she's matured too. I'm really glad though and i'm glad too that she moved on. Its not that i like my choice to break up with her, but just imagine, if i go africa when i still have relationship with her, and i was like...a few months didnt contact her, would that be bad?I know its bad right?Every good couple need to contact each other. Well now, both of us got no relationship anymore, and i dont know about friendship too, ahh anyway, my point is, i'm glad that she moved on. Hope she can find someone for her life rather than me, and i dont know what Alex say is true or not that she still....miss me?I dont mind about it because...okay i'm honest, yeah i miss her too.But i dont know, sometime i misjugded my feeling. Well i hope she can get a good couple in the future, at least she'll be happy. For me? I think i gonna stay single until...i dont know, until i'm dead.Speaking of death...
During my work, my co-pilot say the company lost many good people. I dont its true or not because i dont have many friend there. But maybe thats true though, everyday the member of the company is decreasing.Well now every morning i wake up, i think that day will be my last day. Who knows maybe someday, its my turn to leave company, and the world. Woah, dont say i didnt care about my own life, i loved my life. It just, when my time comes, i accept it.
Ahh enough babling, i had to go now, have fun for awhile before i going back to africa this sunday. Take care everyone, dont do anything crazy like this insane writer of this blog. xD
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." Albert Einstein
6.35PM Friday 24th April 2009
PJ Tan Wei Shen/Nikky Khairul Izy (LOL)
I'm sorry to make some of you (especially Alex and my family) guys worry because my suddenly change of mind and go somewhere unexpected. Like i told you guys before, i'm doing this because for everyone but now, i guess i cant really do it. Well enough babling about it.
Since i left, i promise myself to forget about everything that connect to my past but actually i'm still the same like before, what Alex say. Well at least she matured and independent after i left her, and you know, she really alot remind me of her late brother...my half brother. I thought i can hide my true feeling to her but now she knows. Okay now i'm lost, why?Because i'm blank, dont know what to say.
During my work period, my new friend, and my actual co-pilot always somewhat care about me. I dont know if he actually a gay or he really care about me. LOL! Haha, and look i'm actually laugh! Yeah, he actually prevent me to change to like...a glommy and emo kind of guy. Yeah, thats true.Honest!
You know, i've read her (you know who) blog, i guess she's matured too. I'm really glad though and i'm glad too that she moved on. Its not that i like my choice to break up with her, but just imagine, if i go africa when i still have relationship with her, and i was like...a few months didnt contact her, would that be bad?I know its bad right?Every good couple need to contact each other. Well now, both of us got no relationship anymore, and i dont know about friendship too, ahh anyway, my point is, i'm glad that she moved on. Hope she can find someone for her life rather than me, and i dont know what Alex say is true or not that she still....miss me?I dont mind about it because...okay i'm honest, yeah i miss her too.But i dont know, sometime i misjugded my feeling. Well i hope she can get a good couple in the future, at least she'll be happy. For me? I think i gonna stay single until...i dont know, until i'm dead.Speaking of death...
During my work, my co-pilot say the company lost many good people. I dont its true or not because i dont have many friend there. But maybe thats true though, everyday the member of the company is decreasing.Well now every morning i wake up, i think that day will be my last day. Who knows maybe someday, its my turn to leave company, and the world. Woah, dont say i didnt care about my own life, i loved my life. It just, when my time comes, i accept it.
Ahh enough babling, i had to go now, have fun for awhile before i going back to africa this sunday. Take care everyone, dont do anything crazy like this insane writer of this blog. xD
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." Albert Einstein
6.35PM Friday 24th April 2009
PJ Tan Wei Shen/Nikky Khairul Izy (LOL)
Friday, March 27, 2009
My choice...for goods for everyone.
I Dont know why i'm doing this, but i made this short.
I'm sorry to say but this is probably my last blog, i've delete all my past blogs because those are too connected to my past. Speaking about my past, i've made my choice. After this, i will leave everything about my past behind, and i will start a new future, that mean i gonna like...lost contact with you all.
I'm sorry because of this but this is my only choice, and i have to do it, and by doing this, i gonna leave everything behind, including my family, i admit, i'm not a good son, not a good brother and not a good couple.So thats why i'm doing this, for the sake of all i've care before.
So i gonna say this, for the one i loved, I'm sorry(again) for doing this, i have to leave you behind, this is for your own good, and i know, i'm cant be with you anymore, i'm just another troublemaker that stuck in your heart. So because of that, i'm not a good couple, just like everyone used to say, so i hope you will be happy in the future, and i'm sorry i cant bring you happiness for you.There's other good guys out there, caring and more loving than me.
I know, i cant face this challenge anymore, yes, i'm weak, and i'm just another weak human. So everyone, thanks for caring about me, thanks for be my friends, my family, my love one.
So...
"This is where we go our seperate ways"
"So far I have trusted"
"Now I will close my heart and sleep a while"
"At last my dream with gentle darkness"
"Until I could have my strength to wait for the light"
Patrick Jason Tan Wei Shen/Nik Khairul Izhar
Signing off...
(12.49am : Saturday : 28 March 2009)
I'm sorry to say but this is probably my last blog, i've delete all my past blogs because those are too connected to my past. Speaking about my past, i've made my choice. After this, i will leave everything about my past behind, and i will start a new future, that mean i gonna like...lost contact with you all.
I'm sorry because of this but this is my only choice, and i have to do it, and by doing this, i gonna leave everything behind, including my family, i admit, i'm not a good son, not a good brother and not a good couple.So thats why i'm doing this, for the sake of all i've care before.
So i gonna say this, for the one i loved, I'm sorry(again) for doing this, i have to leave you behind, this is for your own good, and i know, i'm cant be with you anymore, i'm just another troublemaker that stuck in your heart. So because of that, i'm not a good couple, just like everyone used to say, so i hope you will be happy in the future, and i'm sorry i cant bring you happiness for you.There's other good guys out there, caring and more loving than me.
I know, i cant face this challenge anymore, yes, i'm weak, and i'm just another weak human. So everyone, thanks for caring about me, thanks for be my friends, my family, my love one.
So...
"This is where we go our seperate ways"
"So far I have trusted"
"Now I will close my heart and sleep a while"
"At last my dream with gentle darkness"
"Until I could have my strength to wait for the light"
Patrick Jason Tan Wei Shen/Nik Khairul Izhar
Signing off...
(12.49am : Saturday : 28 March 2009)
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